Everyone here at Tumbleweed Mansion would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas, but would also like to ask you a question.
What the hell are you doing reading this on Christmas Day? Surely there's bad television and chocolate to keep you occupied, to keep you from perusing this festering corner of cyberspace.
On a brighter note, just remember: No matter how bad things get, no matter what festive mishaps occur, you're not Chainz, just be thankful for that.
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