The train's delayed and coming
five minutes from now.
And if it does'nt we'll give you
A one in a billion chance
To claim half a million for an eye
A plane disappeared again
And if we find your husband's teeth
you can kiss goodbye to compensation
but we will send a wreath
For the empty box.
The bills incoming to your doormat
And if we find you can't cough up
And you're going out of your head
We'll send you a walking
six-foot paperweight instead
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