Wednesday, 27 January 2010

The Tumbleweed Memories Hall of Shame Entry Number 4

For Star Trek

For T.J. Hooker

For Tek War

For Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

For American Psycho II: All American Girl

For Gotta Catch Santa Claus

For Star Trek III: The Search For Spock

For National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1

For Shatner's Raw Nerve

For Captain's Log: William Shatner's Personal Account of the Making of "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"

For The Transformed Man

For Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Objection

There once was a blog called Tumbleweed.
That the people of the world did never read.
It sat in the dark.
Wondering how it had missed it's mark.
When all along it was because it was shit.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Throw Me A Line

Throw me a line,
I'm lost, you see.
Scared and in a sea
of perfect tranquility.

Broken Lovers

And will you broken lovers
Fly away now you have looked?
Will your broken lovers ever see?

And will you broken lovers
Mend your wings now you are free?
Will your broken lovers ever look?

And will you broken lovers
Fly together now she's strayed?
Will your broken lovers ever rhyme?

Poor Old Pity

Poor old pitying me,
I'm not the man you hoped I'd be.
I stretched my excuses out
Until they were fantastic.
I never knew they be elastic.
Poor old pitying me.

Poor old pitiful me
I'm not the puzzle that you thought I'd be.
I laid my magic carpet out
Until I was sarcastic,
I never knew I'd be so drastic -
Poor old pitiful me.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Breakdown Breakups

Sometimes you have to walk away.
Other times you make her pay.
Sometimes you just beat the blues,
By drinking your blues away.

Sometimes you have to take time out
Other times you have a doubt.
Sometimes you forget a girl
By wishing the girl away.

Sometimes you must take a break,
Or else it's all for old time's sake.
And sometimes you just meet the booze
And sometimes it meets you.

Sometimes you just need a friend,
A girl your make-ups couldn't mend.
Sometimes you can break down break-ups,
Breaking down the next day.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Robots In Suits

I've got static for an alarm call
But that's not all I've got.
I've got a mood like thunder
At 7.34 each morning, on the dot.
I've got a coping regime that bothers me
And a train ride I try to forget
By blotting out the whirring scenery
And reading the words a writer regrets.
I've got a weaving walk I take
To avoid the peasants in suits.
Then I steel myself for the steel box
Shooting up to the fourth floor from its roots,
I make a smile seem more worthwhile
Than it can ever be,
I stare at a screen, developed by a machine,
Delivered in a limousine.
Then I push buttons till they pay for swimming pools
Not used by me, nor ever seen.
I look into the lonely eyes of someone else
Neither belonging to me, nor to herself
And later on, when my work is done,
I sidestep to a train
Filled with robots in suits,
And ignore the whirring scenery again.

Monday, 11 January 2010

Me One So

Deb Melee Toe Rim Swum
They went and made
An anagram outta someone.
Me One So.

Deb Melee Wrote Mi Sum
They made an anagram
Out of something.
Hem Gist No.

Deb Melee Toe Rim Swum
They went and made
A monkey out of someone.
Me One So.

History

You take your demons
And catch them in your dreams,
And love's not all it seems.

She takes her diary,
And rips a page away
And you were never meant to stay.

She takes her troubles
And puts them in a bag,
And your life starts to drag.

She puts her shoes on,
And takes her friends in tow,
They never would have let her go.

She takes her troubles,
And throws them to the sea.
You're ancient history.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

And Every Night The Same

"Take your apologies,
And throw them in the fire,
You weren't so sorry
When you pulled the trigger:
You are a liar."

She'll fan the flames and sigh,
And prey that he appears,
And take the potion
But to dull the failing
that she fears.

And every night the same.

She drinks the night alone,
And feels the falling tears,
And lets the red breeze
blow until it's burning
In her ears:

"Take your apologies,
And throw them in the fire,
You weren't so sorry
When you pulled the trigger:
You are a liar."

And every night the same.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

No-One Had Been To His House

No-one came around to his house yesterday. That's why he hadn't moved when his alarm sounded at 8.06. No-one came around to his house yesterday.

They should have done, of course. He'd sent the invites out - sealed each one with love and lavender. Imagined them fluttering to far off destinations like purple confetti catching the breeze. But no-one had been to his house yesterday.

It was gone midday now, and his dreams hadn't any place in his emptiness. So, he finally found himself stood out of his bed, sighed his way to the windowsill, drew back the curtains and yawned. And then he cried.

No-one had been to his house yesterday. He had died.

Monday, 4 January 2010

Let Them Leave

Every once in the rarest of whiles, you'll meet someone dear from your past, in this life. And when those days come, you must capture each moment, for you may never meet them again, once they leave.

You can take them for drinks, or explore old places, introduce them to friends or lovers.
Or else you can show them where your life stands now, compared to how it was before.

And you can laugh with them, and you can cry with them, or do everything in between that might make the moments as enduring as they could ever be, so that your memories may stand the wrecking time to come.

But, once you embrace at the end and they turn;
once they make their first steps away from your reach;
while they can still hear you should you call;
while they can still answer were you to do so;
while you can still see them,
still feel them, run towards them and reach them,
you must steady yourself first,
and let them leave.

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Twenty Ten

He had a whiskey and rum flavoured hangover that had been festering in the dark corners of his brain, the rising sun of the new year had tempted it to come to the fore, to see the first dawn of another decade, to see how he would change things.
Another twelve months had passed since his last attempt at dragging himself out of the pit of twenty first century life and the hangover remembered his comical efforts, chuckling to itself as it pounded on the interior of his skull demanding that he awaken and suffer.
Lain across his bed like a demented human sculpture he slowly opened his eyes, the hangover bristled with excitement. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping that the pain kayaking through his stomach and hiking around his head would diminish if he deprived them of light. The hangover guffawed, the sounds echoing silently around the weakened nervous system, why hadn't he realised that it was too late, the hangover was here, and it didn't want to leave.
Lying in dishevelled sweaty bedclothes he tried to ignore the raucous chants of the hangover, he tried to think of the previous night and of the promises he had made. Blurred flashes of undeveloped photography collapsed against the backdrop of closed eyes. Through the din of hangover's dissonant yawp, his own voice calling from the previous past.
The hangover set about churning his stomach with last nights excess, and he forced back the onrushing physical evidence with held breath and clenched sides. Groaning quietly he recalled the bold promise of 2009.
He would no longer sit in the shadows, no more would he be satisfied to watch whilst others painted the world wild shades of rainbow, he would not be happy with the illusion of comfort and the promise of banality. With whatever he had in his arsenal he would break holes in the concrete of conformity and claw at the blue skies beyond the clouds of disillusion. By god he would rip up the roots of 24-7 and cast them into the primordial ooze of chaos, moulding them with his hands until they no longer resembled anything ever seen by man nor beast, until they basked light upon a path to dreams forbidden, to lands unimagined, to potential reawakened.
2010 spread like a never ending dawn just outside his window, the sunlight shining down on places and moments not yet seen. Yet the hangover just laughed, he had heard it all before in the promises of the foolish, seen it in the eyes of the misguided.
But even as hangover began another assault on demoralised brain cells it wondered to itself about the possibilites of a new year, of a fresh start, that spark of willingness, that ability to see beyond the walls of flesh and time, surely everything is not eventual, surely everyone can if they say they can, hangover sat down, relinquishing it's hold on his brain coral.
No-one does anything alone, thought hangover.