I Exist

You're not a knot I can just undo
like a shoelace,
To be rid of you.
You exist in my past,
And I exist in your past too.

I'm standing in the street,
Watching the world collapse
Around my ears.
Cars are crashing into meteors,
And you're not here.

You're not a knot I can just undo
like a shoelace,
To be rid of you.
You exist in my past,
And I exist in your past too.

I'm standing in the street,
Watching the world collapse
Around my ears.
Cars are crashing into meteors,
But you can't hear.

I'm not a knot you can just undo,
Like a shoelace,
To be rid of me,
I exist in your past,
And you exist in my past too.

Disappear

Stop spotting me by mistake,
It's not as though I mean it anyway -
The flying over houses bit
That I do when you're asleep
only hits with the night
And when you start to disappear,
In my eyes.

Stop avoiding my advances,
It's not as though you mean to anyway -
The breaking my heart bit
That you do when I'm awake
only hits when you are right
And when I start to disappear,
In your eyes.

Candles

Backward looking
Unnatural shine
Blackness smothered
Stone-age Magic
Future paling
People disappear into flickering time.

Eric Stoltz Attacked My Computer

The Man In the Corner of Your Eye

Personality overdrawn
Insignificant high
Lossless slumber
Daydream cry
Expending breath
Lifelong waste
The hurt never ceases
The painful taste
Dark at the dawn
Pitch in the night
Hands empty
Hollow delight
Eyes see in front
Heart lives behind
This is my curse
The tethered bind
Of poisoned hours
Of darkened sky
Of being forgotten
Of living to die

Stop The Wind

Caught in the hurricane,
It's too late now.
I could even scream,
but you wouldn't hear me...
"Stop the wind that's moving your feet,
And spin them round to me".

Calmer days will come,
Too distant to believe.
And yet I can dream,
That she may be near me...
"Stop the wind that's moving your feet,
And wake up next to me".

Silent words take hold,
Too final to believe:
"I can't stop the wind
That's moves her feet
Away from me...
Nor ever will."

Wrecked by the hurricane,
It's too late now.

Shallow Grave

Gnarled shadows shimmer over golden glade.
Dappled litter, mammals scurry to haven forgiven.
Water in river, sea or oxbow forgotten.
Tied to a bed of time stalled and motion unhindered.
Quivering with terror over permanent damnation.
Structure of Man and Omnipotence mistaken quake and tremble at dominant breed returned form the the void of eternal awakened.
Tales of today and a morrow imagined neither fixture saw a future,
It's human turmoil a next Gomorrah.
The old ones return.
A mist of unscripted history coming back creeping,
Cloudy tendrils above a land of the blind.
Then the oily fleshy mass on the terrain of the self, a thousand mucus filled eyes on the spine of humanity.
A clammy indecipherable limb snaking around the neck of the unbeliever and the fool.
Terrible, unnameable sweaty eruption of graceless dismemberment from clawed executioner,
Beholder of the truth of the skin and the lies of the flesh.
Disgusted coils of shapeless murmuring shatter perfect construction and rib extraction.
Turning perfection not taken into a greater sentence than the sulphurous abyss of the inferno.
Flesh and bone entwine with horror and ease,
Becoming art upon the body and it's politic to endure pain through twisted reality.
Cities tumble, glass shatters against direction enforced and pavements of fools gold,
Progression pollution halted by one foul whip of hideous ruptured appendage.
Darwin aghast as the past paints the future with a wash of blood and a canvas of earth and soma.
Youth and Youth lost intermingle in a chaos of tears,
Gap closed by mutilation inspired by impossibility.
The ensuing moments a holocaust cabaret, futile pleading finds deaf deities, creed and hope set adrift amidst sea of blackness and screams,
Those left dither in the remaining light.
Praying that tomorrows shadows won't rise.

Blue Trees

I came to you with hurt,
As far as hurt will go with me these days.
Life has a funny way of making bad,
The things we grow to love.
Oh, those things we grew to love...

And did you see it grow
Or focus on bad harvests?

And did you see the funny way a life has,
Of making bad
The things we long to grow?

Like blue trees.

Isolation

Isolation in a bathroom,
With a lightbulb and a lightcord.
Maybe living's not so lonely, after all.
Turn her on, and turn it out,
Splash the water, splash about.

Isolation, in the bathroom,
With a lightbulb, and a lightcord.
Feel the snow pile on the windpw.
Maybe dying's not so lonely, after all.
Turn it off, and turn me out.

Angry Dolls

We're angry dolls,
Marching into battle with each other
Manipulated by a higher force,
That's neither our maker,
Nor our mother.

Space Invaders

I was walking down the shopping street,
Staring through the TVs in the stores
And kicking my feet
When the space invaders came
And messed around with me.

I'll shoot 'em up,
And shoot 'em up,
Before I shoot 'em down.
And shoot me up
Before I shoot 'em down.

I was standing past the warning line,
Staring at myself on the steel tracks
And counting down time.
Then the space invaders came
And they abducted me.

We'll shoot 'em up,
And shoot 'em up,
Before I shoot 'em down.
And shoot me up
Before I shoot 'em down.

I was praying on the roadside seat,
Staring at the stars that stared at me
And feeling incomplete.
Then the space invaders came
And interfered with me.

We'll shoot 'em up,
And shoot 'em up,
Before I shoot 'em down.
And shoot me up
Before I shoot 'em down.

I was sleeping in a slept in bed,
Dreaming of the TVs in the stores
With a plug in my head.
When the space invaders came -
And pronounced me dead.

She'll shoot 'em up.
And shoot 'em up.
Before I shoot 'em down.
And shoot me up,
Before I shoot her down.

Mourning Gene Clark

I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.

Keep saying it to myself, and the tragedy will fail...

I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.

Keep saying it to myself, and the tragedy will fail...
Or reveal itself.

I only began appreciating Gene Clark recently;
Gene Clark is dead.
Gene Clark is dead.

Gene Clark is dead.

Memories

They can kill me if they want
If they won't kill me anyway.
I'll exist in their conscience
and in those ghosts when they are gone.

I'm a backstreet rat
With a bat up my back.
It doesn't pay to hang around,
I'm flapping in the fallout,
Straightlining my way home.
And taking aim,
On everything.

"I don't like shortcuts",
Said the man before he killed himself.

I genuinely thought I saw her there,
Dreaming as she hid behind the bedpost.
Well, she was the girl that I loved most.
I let my eyes believe me.

Cling to the side of the sheer drop,
Chewing gum,
Steer a wheel with one finger,
Feeling numb.
And listen for the singer on the radio,
That you were waiting for,
Relax your arms,
And finally, your jaw,
And wait for the fireball.

Criticise me if you must,
Wouldn't you believe it just?
The first line of a stanza,
Full of attitude and rust.
Criticise me if you dare...
As though it would believe I care.
The fifth line of a stanza-
And delusions of grandeur?

Pianos fit but sound like guitars in this world,
And clarinets sound like sitahs when we sit down.
The triangle of music comes between her and me,
And me with her.

Ping!

They can kill me if they want
If they won't kill me when I'm wrong.
I'll exist in their conscience
and in those ghosts when they are gone.

I flicked through a book with photos,
And the people therein spoke to me
Begging to myself.
I closed the book with photos,
And looked at something else.

Stop looking, she's not giving in,
It's up to you now, Sonny Jim.
Time for you to steam on in.
And time for her to flash her ring.

Love the brain you're born with,
It's the only world.
Man, I've been to Spain, and Ireland once,
I've been to France...
I've been to Portugal,
And been to Cannes,
Which is technically in France.
I went to Canada, and then the USA
I worry that my passport got away.
I've been to Malta, Kos,
And Turkey, and The Planet Dross.
And a man said, "Love the brain you're born with -
For it is all that you have got".

He's dead now.

And there's one thing I've just remembered...
He went to hell, and was dismembered.
With a pitchfork and a flame,
The devil has a lot to gain,

I'm tired, desperate and alone,
My hope was fragile all along.
I'm homeless and my hope has gone.
I'm hungry, too.
Hungry to hurt -
So fill me up with bullets.
And let me sing a song...

They can kill me if they want
If they won't kill me, then I'm wrong.
I'll exist in their conscience
and in their ghosts when they are gone.

For My Past Mistakes

I can't see your face
Don't know how we found each other
Don't know how you pulled me into the world
Can't recall if I hurt you or you tired of me
Wont remember why we parted
But in the fog I feel glimpses
A faint curve that may be a smile
A red dress on a dark night
The tingle of a touch
A look across a room
The completeness in a hug
Tumbleweed memories are all I have

A Circle is open to nothing

Love
Waiting
Light
Crying
Growth
Walking
Words
Talking
Letters
Numbers
Learning
Facts
Knowing
Laughing
Moving
Changing
Doing
Accepting
Love
Yearning
Seeds
Nesting
Planning
Sowing
Passing
Crying
Mending
Death
Love

Letter to one who watches

I live in terror, of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Fear dwells under my interior, and I cannot see the dawn
Paedophiles stalk cyber streets in typeface disguises, while faces in the dark steal you from under your mousemat.
Unintelligible faces fly the skies with bottles of fire and beards of misunderstanding,
Weapons made for money destroy hearts and minds without being fired convincing the meek that the cellar is the best place to hide.
Infinite power over fate and soil rests in the hands of suit jackets and cave paintings,
What once was our future loiters on street corners knowing the past can do nothing but hide in the dark.
People with jobs die long before death and people without feeling sit and watch T.V being sold an ideal on how to fail and enjoy it.
Tourists fly and species die and no-one cares unless the price of sun tan cream increases.
The green land becomes the grey of our need to get there and get there now. The dark of night now fake orange with a backing track of sirens and snoring
Too many fools
Not enough food
Not enough space
Not enough time
I just want you to tell me it'll be alright....
But you're not there, are you?

Dead Time

Put the package on the belt,
Press the button, and move it on.
Put the package on the belt,
And move your hands,
And put them back,
Then put the package on the belt.
And forget about her,

Put the package on the belt,
Press the off switch, and move it on.
Put the package on the belt,
And move along,
And move hands back,
Then speed you thoughts along.
It's what the company wants.

David Lynch

Don't give up, David.
Eat my eyeballs,
If you must,
Don't want you to turn to dust.

Bullet Paranoia

Cover the cracks,
They're not all that.
And wipe the blood from the walls.

Cover the cracks,
They're not all that,
And maybe the bullets know.

Stronger

Lost hater,
I tried to reach the handle,
And she helped me.

Lost anxiety, I followed the crowd,
And the mussel went AWOL,
And then I lost a pound,
but licked a lolly,
And later, understood the meaning of friendship.

I took the acclaim,
Even when it wasn't meant.
And loved my elders.

Marina didn't have a gearstick,
But she knew how to move,
Two black eyes from a bash in the nose.

Stomach aches that went away with confidence,
And kicking the door with fear.
Wonderful advice,
The like of which I'm not likely to forget.

Funny bone feelings,
And pencil manipulating,
Secular, clerical - the difference between right and wrong.
Pass, and fail.
Clearing on, and clearing off.
First pangs of disappointment,

Brilliant summer days in solitude,
Marking them with marker pens,
And dreaming, dreaming, dreaming.
But not finding the girl
Who sat beneath the window.
Before leaving.

Recognising disappointment is a prerequisite of abandonment,
And embracing the new world,
And feeling good, despite the enemy that is poverty.
Taking her as a friend, but never a lover.

Having a whirled brain
Helps moving along.

Taking the friendship of people,
For a given with the taken.
Buying cleaner to mend the leaks in the carpet,
And not letting on.

Solitude, and goodbyes, and apologies,
And new starts all meant to synchronise yourself,
With the world.

And finding things about yourself
That neither kill you off
Nor make you stronger.

Craterblades

I wish you'd stop falling
Through thin air.
I didn't choose you,
And you didn't choose me either.

You know, some day I am going to die,
And you are going to die as well,
But that won't make the teardrops dry,
And that won't make the stars cry either
The moon cries by itself.

I wish you'd ride away
On craterblades.
I didn't catch you,
And you didn't catch me either.

One day I am bound to lie,
And you are bound to lie for someone else,
And he won't make the teardrops dry,
And he won't make the stars cry either,
The moon cries by yourself.

Obliterate All Rational Thought

Harvest to die.
Evaluate the see through.
Hawking over lakes is not impossible.
Scanning the news means missing the point.
Missing the point is everything.
Saturday is just one of seven.
Seven is only a construction.
Statues crumble like biscuits on a roadside.
God doesn't exist but that means nothing in a test tube.
Spinning wheels get faster the more they hurt.
Blood doesn't agree with the gravity of a situation.
The trees were right to stop talking, but we were wrong to not listen.
Curtains see all.
The sky will not bow to us.
Tonight will end in a faint drum beat illuminated by a peach
If tomorrow came back to visit would it want tea or an apology?